Bros Icing Bros

There is something mystifyingly strange about this whole Bros Icing Bros phenomena. I am a huge advocate of subculture. I love when I hear about silly little popular trends that haven’t yet made their way into mainstream culture. It makes me feel part of something, as if I am cool enough to be part of the “in” crowd (which, for someone as marginalized as I tend to be, is a small girl rush to my psyche).

So finding out about Bros Icing Bros was kinda cool. But I realize that the theory of it occurring and knowing that not everyone knows about it is a more romantic notion than what Bros Icing Bros actually is.

For those of you not cool like me, I will give you the bylaws:

When one bro spots another bro he can ice him, no matter when or where. This involves handing the approaching bro a Smirnoff Ice. Said bro must then get down and one knee and drink the entire bottle at one time. Failure to do so will leave said bro “excommunicated and shunned,” according to BroBible. (ha! And you thought I was making this whole bro thing up! They even have a bible!)

Now, if a bro is about to be iced but is already carrying a Smirnoff Ice, he can offer it up, thus essentially blocking the ice. Then the offending bro must drink both bottles to continue his part in the bro community.

Why Smirnoff Ice, you ask? Well, because it apparently tastes like shit. And to prove real manliness, a bro should be able to down an entire bottle of the sickeningly sweet beverage in one gulp.

Lemme tell you why this whole thing is fascinating to me. Firstly because there is a definite idea of who does and does not constitute a bro. No women, of course, and only the slickest of men. Mostly fraternity-bred but in my research, not all have fraternity backgrounds. Bros tend to be professional, newly minted executives in some type of corporate setting. I conclude this based on the various icing videos posted on YouTube that take place in the halls of financial offices and golf courses.

Now I am not saying that women cannot be iced—I have seen a few videos of women getting iced but c’mon…we know these chicks are pretty much hopeful mascots. They will never be a real bro, no matter how many times they do bro-like things.

What is perhaps most disturbing to me in this whole bros icing bros thing, is that there is this notion of inclusion and non-inclusion. And we all know how badly we want to belong (hell, I admitted in the first paragraph how cool I am for merely knowing what this icing thing is. And it’s because I belong). At the risk of not belonging, said bro will down the 12oz alcoholic drink (or larger, if their bro buddies are especially cruel) no matter where they are. This means that a lot of icing occurs on the way to job interviews, first thing in the morning, or behind the wheel of a car. Because let’s face it, if you ain’t a bro, you must be…a chick. And what man wants to be called that?

So don’t worry if you haven’t heard about Bros Icing Bros until this blog post. Because you’re still cool. By default. Our own Prez Gearan got iced at this year’s graduation. Cuz you know. Gearan’s a bro.


10 thoughts on “Bros Icing Bros

  1. Here’s another twist my friend told me about: Before going out for weekend festivities, some students will leave Ices under bros’ pillows. That way, when the bros return home in the wee hours of the morning, they must down one final drink before sleeping.

  2. Michele says:

    now see, how fucked up is that?

    sadly, I cannot think about how much MORE alcohol they are consuming before heading to bed but that they are going to sleep with all that sugar in their teeth. Carrie, I think I am just too damn old for this movement.

  3. Em says:

    1. ‘Icing’ was cool until the ‘bros’ found out it was actually a marketing campaign started by Smirnoff to help their quarterlies during the graduation and bachelor party season.

    2. To make it even more miserable, the bro-y-est bros who plan icings in advance will stuff a bottle in their back pocket or down their pants to hide it so that by the time the icing actually occurs the “ICE” isn’t icy at all but lukewarm and funky smelling.

    3. What’s strange is the new level of simplicity drinking challenges and games have reached. Icing and ‘bull moose’ (calling bull moose when someone is holding their drink in their right hand) or dropping the plastic keg top in someones solo cup just to watch them down their beers are impressively mediocre challenges to a ‘dude’s bro status’. People are worrying about how boys are doing in school, and hopes shouldn’t be high if the ‘extracurricular’ competitive subculture has been dumbed down. Simple games, simple brains (now there’s a tongue twister). In all seriousness though, on average men use alcohol as a vehicle for communicating even the most mundane comments and emotions that they don’t feel they otherwise have outlets for and by stripping all creativity but the culture of drinking but reducing it to binge-tactics will probably take its toll in arenas other than liver health.

  4. Em says:

    my keyboard wacked out, I meant:

    “In all seriousness though, on average men use alcohol as a vehicle for communicating even the most mundane comments and emotions that they don’t feel they otherwise have outlets for. And stripping drinking culture of all creativity by reducing it to binge-tactics will probably take its toll in arenas other than just liver health.” Like oh let’s say how men bond!

  5. Michele says:

    Em, is it a marketing ploy by Smirnoff? I had heard rumors that the “Bros Icing Bro’s website was bought by Smirnoff and the page is down but nothing has come of it. and I love this: “on average men use alcohol as a vehicle for communicating.” you have said this much more eloquently than my post did. thank you.

  6. Ashley Yang says:

    Ohhhh so THAT’S what everyone meant when they said Gearan got “iced”!!!

    The big question, for those of us who weren’t at graduation, obviously is: Did he do it?? Was he bro enough?

  7. Michele says:

    no, he laughed and accepted it but did not get down on one knee and drink it. But knowing Gearan, I am pretty certain he knew what was going on.

  8. Sheba Morgan says:

    This is really interesting. Unfortunately I was one of the uncool people who never heard of this before. It sounds like it is very fun but a lot of drinking at the most random and probably in appropriate time, but I am not against it.
    I live with five brothers at home and from personal experience guys are the most funny and random inventors ever. My days growing up were never dull as my brother and I made imaginary games from jumping off the bump bed, to spitting raps, to playing basketball in the living room, to dressing like aliens and climbing down from the roof our building. I never knew where my older brothers came up with their ideas however, I was always fascinated by what they came up with next. We toured the world with our Imagination by sneaking into our neighbor’s garage and exploring their things. We were native American fighting Columbus and his Spaniard army by climbing on top of our garage and throwing rocks at my other brothers and his friends.
    So believe me when I say that I am not surprise that the bro bible really exists and this game is so wide spread. It is always interesting to just see something new that you have never seen or heard of before. The part that I found most interesting is the variety of people that participate in bros icing bros. I cannot believe it is common enough to be done at golf course and among executive.
    This is hilarious I still have a huge smile on my face picturing this happening at graduation with president Gearan. I am very anxious to know if he stayed true to the bro bible and chugged the Smirnoff. I love the fact that they use Smirnoff because personally that is my favorite kind of liquor and I would not mind drinking this any time before fizzy disgusting beer, yuck.

  9. Peter Cruice says:

    I first heard about “icing” when I was a senior in high school. My buddies who graduated the year before would throw parties. When I attended these parties I was occasionally iced! The first time I was iced I had no idea why they were handing me a Smirnoff Ice to drink. I don’t drink malt beverages because as I like to say, I am a man! But once I was explained the rules I said I’m no pussy and got down on one knee and finished it. It was terrible, but it was chilled. Other times I have been iced the Smirnoff Ice was warm. This almost made me puke. I have Iced girls before and realized that it was stupid because one, they are not a bro, and two they actually like to drink them. I don’t go out of my way to Ice someone because in all honesty I don’t want to waste my money buying a six-pack of Smirnoff Ice. I on the other hand love to Ice people when someone offers me a Smirnoff ice at a party to Ice someone in particular or whomever I feel needs to have a sugary malt beverage.

    The icing got worse when people started to purchase flavored Smirnoff Ice’s. Green apple, and raspberry made the whole experience that much worse. Drinking one of those makes you want to go and shotgun a beer to get the nasty taste out of your mouth. I have occasionally seen people back down from being iced and they were considered never allowed to play the game. I think Icing in general is a hilarious, and great idea. There are plenty of drinking games out there, but something like this makes it all that much more fun. Who ever started this trend is a drinking game genius in my book because he obviously had intention to make people chug girly drinks on one knee in front of a crowd of people.

    When I heard that the president of Hobart and William Smith College was Iced on graduation last year, I laughed pretty hard. I was disappointed to her that he didn’t drink it though. Maybe one day another college president will get iced and do the deed!

  10. This just goes to show what lengths people will go to to be accepted. Not that I’m against this, I just think it’s funny that a smirnoff Ice is the price of acceptance these days. Now since it’s only, bros icing bros….what determines a bro? Do they ice someone new to invite him into the “bro” group or do they ice someone who is already fully accepted just to challenge his authority? there is so much more I want to know about this. What happens if you are unable to finish the smirnoff ice in one gulp? Is there a punishment?
    I also find this drinking game a little ironic. In order to become more bro you MUST chug a girly alcoholic drink. So in some twisted way you have to do something feminine to become more of a man. Interesting.

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