17 Things Every Women’s Magazine Will Tell You (That You Should Ignore)

from The Huffington Post:

“Women’s magazines are expensive. In this economy, I can’t just throw five dollars out the window to read about eight discreet ways to have sex in public or what Lauren Conrad’s doing with her hair. Luckily, I’ve read enough of these gems in the past to describe every issue being released this fall.”

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8 thoughts on “17 Things Every Women’s Magazine Will Tell You (That You Should Ignore)

  1. Sarah Canavan says:

    Michele this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. My personal favorite: “Bikini waxes really hurt, but if you take Advil before hand they’re only as painful as getting hit in the face with an icepick. Not getting a bikini wax? Not an option, Chewbacca.”

  2. Ashley Yang says:

    I concur with Sarah. By far, my favorite tidbit. Chewbacca…bwaaahahahahahaha

  3. Emily Clemetson says:

    I really enjoyed reading this article from the huffington post, it’s hilarious. Aldia does a great job summing up every women’s magazine out there. They almost all include: shopping for your body, what’s in style, what to eat, what the celebrities are doing, how to get men, embarrassing stories, and some sort of sop story.

    It’s true that once you’ve read one women’s magazine you’ve practically read them all. Especially magazines such as people, cosmopolitan, glamour, us weekly, OK!, seventeen, and star all say the exact same thing since there’s only so much gossip that could have happened in the past month that the issue comes out.

    The things that are covered in women’s magazines are rather ridiculous and cause you to waste so much money. Young girls that read these magazines so easily fall for the newest products and what the celebrities are wearing.

    One of my favorite parts of this article is the “know your face shape. Face shapes include: oval. Slight oval, circle, and Tyra Banks. This face shape will help you determine the correct sunglasses to buy, haircuts to get, and how many ugly children you might have.”

  4. Karen Romero says:

    I find this article to be really funny and very true. This is coming from someone who reads all different types of magazines and is obsessed with them. My favorites are Cosmo and Glamour, and in all these magazines that specifically target women, every single topic that is touched upon in this article will be talked about in a magazine. I am guilty of reading these magazines and actually paying attention and believing the tips these magazines give. I agree with Emily, in that this Huffington Post article summarizes everything that a women’s magazine talks about. You will surely find an article on what is the best dress to wear for your body shape, the haircut for your face shape, and what hairstyle will guarantee you to find a guy. Although I agree that these magazines are all repetitive and we should not waste time/money on these, they are too good for me to give up. However, we, women, should stop listening to these “tips” and be brainwashed by what the media wants us to be.

  5. Brittany Betts says:

    Although I am definitely guilty of reading cosmo and all kinds of magazines, I rarely take what they’re saying seriously. Pretty much every new issue of these magazines paraphrases what they said in the old issue; it would be unheardof if cosmo didn’t advertise 100 new sex tips on its cover. This article brings up every key topic always mentioned in magazines, especially diet. There’s always a new diet craze telling women how they can eat cake 3 times a day a still lose weight or how to lose 20 pounds in a week. Sure, they’re entertaining to read and can occupy me when I’m bored, but that’s about all these magazines are good for.

  6. Gabby Mylod says:

    This article is absolutely hilarious. Although I do enjoy reading Cosmo on occasion, the Huffington Post article is right about every single one of those things. It’s so true that every single women’s magazine says the same things, but we still buy them because they all have some good title on the front cover like “How I lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks!” or something else that seems nearly impossible. And of course every Cosmo magazine has about 6 headlines about something involving sex. It’s kind of ridiculous that this is the sort of headline that draws women in and entices us to buy these ridiculous magazines but we still buy them! I think the biggest draw to all of these magazines is that they all talk about how everyone can be perfect and look perfect and yes everyone defines perfect differently but no one can look or be like the stars and models shown in these magazines; we are always going to be drawn to something that isn’t real.

    I think the Huffington Post article does a great job highlighting all of the main topics discussed in typical magazines but makes every single topic hilarious. Every slide shows a picture that a magazine would show, with a caption that a magazine would show, and then they have added in something witty and hilarious at the end of every caption. I thought the picture of Tyra was hilarious because it’s all nice and informative and then it’s like “…and how many ugly children you will have.” That totally cracks me up.

    I also love the ones about food because I’m obsessed with food. The thing about the restaurant is so true. You have to get something healthy and only have one bite of dessert, “but don’t restrict yourself of anything.” Yeah screw that. When I go to a restaurant, I find it entirely pointless to order something healthy. If I made the effort to go out and spend money for dinner, I’m going to get something with a million calories that tastes amazing; not some stupid grilled chicken with vegetables. And dessert is the best part of the meal! I usually eat about three bites of my actual dinner just so that I have room to eat every last bite of my dessert, which I frequently pick out before my meal.

    So seriously, these magazines are ridiculous and I think some people definitely take them WAY too seriously, but it’s unavoidable, we’re always going to buy these magazines. Oh well.

  7. Jacqueline Murphy says:

    I definitely have been that person who blows money to read these types of magazines. They are like a bad accident, you can’t help but read them and read every page. Having said that, I can definitely agree that they all do say the same things in every single magazine I have read. I personally love the magazine Cosmo but you can count on reading the same types of articles every month. The seasons may change but the ideas are similar throughout the year. Cosmo always discusses how to highlight your attributes, how to cut your hair based on the shape of your face, and what jeans to buy to flatter your curves or lack of curves. Every magazine talks about the changing of seasons and how to adjust your wardrobe so that you can wear your clothes for more than one season. I sometimes think about what the magazines are saying and sometimes actually believe in what they are saying. What does this say about society today? Does it mean that we have fallen so far into admiring beauty that we will believe whatever we read or are told to make us prettier? What happened to natural beauty? A large majority of people would indeed listen to these articles and make changes to their appearance in hopes the magazine is right.
    Although I am guilty of reading these magazines and buying them, I think that once you have read one of these magazines you can assume what will be in the next one. They know that women are interested in reading about these topics because we are trying to please society and by listening to the tips given in these magazines it will help these women attain the perfect image. It is not true and these tips won’t all work. I need to stop wasting my time and money reading these magazines

  8. lizbramley says:

    I feel like I’m going to repeat every word above me, but this made me literally laugh out loud… and I’m in the quiet section of the library right now. I am completely obsessed with magazines to the point where sometimes I think it would be smart for me to just work for one. I carry lucky magazine around with me like it is the Bible and I re read every one seriously a hundred times.And I’m not even that into fashion, since I can’t even afford the damn lipgloss they market in that magazine. But back to the point, this article aside from being hilarious, was so spot on. Magazines all follow the same format but yet I think I’m reading something new every time. Maybe it is the power of re wording things.Maybe I truly think I will look better if I read ALL six thousand beauty tips I read in last months issue. Or maybe, it is just the fact that by reading them I can ignore my school work for a half an hour. Either way, as repetitive as magazines get I know I’ll always be that girl subscribed to like ten of them that pathetically reads every article, advertisement and astrology thingum. To me magazines are an escape from the everyday, when I’m too burned out to leisurely read a real book that will make me think. So maybe I should cut back since I’m reading the same thing over and over again, but theres no way I could ever stop.

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