Guest Blogger: Kylie Bellis

After reading the blog post and watching the Youtube video of Take Back the Night I began thinking of what it would be like if I were able to walk home alone at night without constantly having too be aware of my surroundings. I thought that maybe times were changing and that college campuses could be considered a “safe place,” that was until I saw this clip on CNN:

Yale University’s Delta Kappa Epsilon, more commonly known as DKE, or “deke” was recorded yelling the chant “no means yes, yes means anal.” They also chanted. ““My name is Jack, I’m a necrophiliac, I fuck dead women, and fill them with my semen.”

At first I was in shock of what I was hearing and thought male students attending such a prestigious university would have the common sense to not promote rape, but I was sadly mistaken.

Rape is not something to joke about and especially not rant about doing—who is honestly supporting this? Do they think it is funny to yell that “no means yes?” I think that when a woman (or a man) says no, they actually mean no and that there is no underlying meaning of yes hidden somewhere.

How am I, or any other woman for that matter, supposed to feel comfortable walking alone when men are shouting these chants? The DKE president at Yale stated that the chant was done in poor judgment and poor taste and that the fraternity does not condone sexual violence (Huffington Post). Well please tell me what made them come up with the idea in the first place then?

DKE apologizes for pledge chants

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16 thoughts on “Guest Blogger: Kylie Bellis

  1. Ryan Waffle says:

    First things first. Yikes…
    You’d think they’d be a little smarter over in Yale to know not to say that kind of stuff, let alone yelling it, especially where and when they were yelling it. First of all, bad move by the brothers for making their pledges say these types of things. And an even worse move by the pledges for doing this. I would think there would have to be a line between being a decent human being and being a frat brother, but apparently there isn’t for them.
    I hope these students and the fraternity should are punished for their behavior. It’s ridiculously unacceptable for this to occur. For the president of the fraternity to pass this off as just bad judgement and bad taste is a huge understatement, and its irresponsible for him to blame the event on just bad judgement.
    It makes you appreciate the decent people we have here at HWS. We really don’t have these types of huge events that make our students feel like they should be afraid to walk around campus at any time.
    And lastly, it makes you glad we don’t have people shouting “My name is Jack, I’m a necrophiliac, I fuck dead women, and fill them with my semen,” because that’s just gross

  2. Ashley Yang says:

    That’s despicable. What does a frat have to do nowadays to get kicked off campus??

  3. Dan Dechert says:

    Taking Back the Night is a march protesting sexual violence against women that I became aware of last semester during my stay in the course, Rape in Contemporary Culture. It is a chance for women, both whom have been sexually abused or simply aware of the dangers, to voice their concerns and take initiative to demonstrate that this type of violence is not to be tolerated. After spending an entire semester’s work on the topic of rape I am hypersensitive to the fragility of the topic, and the pain that and emotional agony it can evoke for anyone with relation to a victim of such a crime.
    Before reading this post I heard about what the Yale community experienced with this mockery, but until I watched the video I did fully comprehend the magnitude of what had happened. It makes me sick to my stomach to have a group of my male peers chanting such derogatory words through the campus located near first-year female students. I often wondered why men in our society often take on the title of aggressor and in some ways villain, yet when I watch this the stereotype could not be any clearer.
    By marching around, yelling these obscenities, these college-aged students are spitting in the face and salting the wounds of every rape victim or relative. To make a joking matter out of the most horrific of crimes shows disrespect, a lack of compassion, but most importantly ignorance. No person with a full understanding of the pain that rape causes would under any circumstances think these things, let alone chant them on a college campus. I’m assuming most of these students have mothers and sisters, and I’d like for them to look those family members in the eye and say the same thing that they did on that night. The most appropriate punishment for this fraternity would be to force them to endure the semester-long torture that I did in the course concerning rape, because then they will be faced with the reality of the type of disgusting people they were projecting themselves as.

  4. Amaury Ramirez says:

    This is ridiculous, and I hope there is some serious trouble for the fraternity.

    It bothers me that the fraternities would do this because as many of us know many rapes occur in frats. It happens that many fraternity “brothers” are usually depicted as sexual predators and guys that would stop at nothing before getting the girl. And although I am not a member of any fraternity, I am a friend of several fraternity members and it saddens me to see their reputation spoiled by many douche bags like the DKE members.

    The president of the fraternity gives a terrible response to the accusations. He apologizes by saying that it was a moment of poor judgment. Screaming things like no means yes doesn’t just happen, that takes some though process especially the fact that it rhymes. I can’t understand how a man could say these things when they have mothers, sisters and friends that are females. I understand that some things are jokes and people think it is funny, but things like rape, which is something that is so real, is not something to joke about. How are the women supposed to feel comfortable going into the fraternities? We have truly entered a rape friendly society.

  5. Maggie Bernay says:

    First the actions of this fraternity are despicable and very concerning. Not only is very degrading and terrifying for women, it is also a concern to all of society. I had not heard of this incident until I read the blog post. Now that I have I am extremely concerned. I can’t imagine what it would have felt like to be a freshman girl sitting in her room listening to the obscenities that were being chanted. I also can’t imagine being the parents, brother or sister girl at Yale. This must be extremely worrying.
    It is hard to read the newspaper or watch the news without hearing about disturbing behavior of young adults. With everything that has been happening on college campuses in the United States with bullying and sexual assaults, I am concerned that these clearly smart men at Yale have not learned from other incidents and continue on a path of assaulting others. Why are young people not learning from the other tragic experiences that have happened and why are they continuing to create disturbances? Why is that these young students at Yale thought that what they did was funny at all? While I do not know why history keeps repeating itself, I do think we need to continue events like Take Back the Night to keep reinforcing positive ideas.

  6. MEM12 says:

    I agree on every level with Dan’s comment above, this makes me soo sick to my stomach, and especially to think that such a prestigious school such as Yale would have male frat brothers yelling such derogatory remarks. This not only shows and supports that there still is a lack of respect for women by men.
    The last comment really struck me, I was at loss of words after reading the chant of fucking dead women. Not only does this disrespect women on so many levels but it shows no respect for the people who have deceased. For someone to not think twice about making such a disrespectful and disgusting remark as this one and to make a joke of such a horrific crime as rape and sexual violence says a lot about the person. o know that we have people such as these male students in our society is so disturbing to me.
    Whenever I am walking alone at night from a meeting or from a friends room, my mother always gets so mad at me and insists I never walk alone on campus. I always tell her not worry our campus is safe, but I would also like to think Yale such a prestigious school it is, is also considered somewhat safe, at least safe from your fellow classmates. After hearing this incident, I definitely question how safe I am on campus. I am junior now and if this makes me question my safety, I could not imagine how a female freshman would feel after hearing her fellow male classmates in a large group yelling such horrific comments. I also could not imagine how a freshman female who is a victim of sexual violence could recover from such an incidence by her fellow male classmates. No one deserves that type of disrespect and out right ignorance. No person should also think its alright to act in such a manner. I wonder sometimes what our society has come too, and this incident fully supports my doubt.

  7. Obi Juan Breton says:

    I personally went to a Take Back the Night extension, the Candlelight Vigil, and was moved by the “testicular fortitude” some of these women and some men had in going up in front of a crowd and sharing their stories. I’m personally outraged in the actions made by these “world-renowned scholars”, they have proved that no matter what education one can receive, ignorance can override the brightest minds. Stupidity like this makes people ashamed to share their stories, forcing them to keep these prisons filled and unable to find a release. No better way to say it, this is f***ed up. Little could any of these ignorant terds have known one of their sisters or even their mother could have been a victim. This is how to discourage a movement and keep something good from happening. I guess its human nature, unfortunately.

  8. Conor Callahan says:

    Ok well that is pretty disgusting and very disrespectful of those guys. This just gives the fraternity’s a bad name, as if they aren’t already poorly labeled as it is. I couldn’t even begin to argue why they would have any reason to do something like that, except that it sounds like immature, drunk college guys who don’t do anything productive during their days at college. I think take back the night is a great event on this campus because there are so many people unaware of these things that actually do happen. I never would have guessed that this campus had things like this going on until I went to take back the night last year. This year my fraternity held a reception in our living room after their walk and I was happy that they were able to come in and feel comfortable. It is efforts like these that I feel are important to make girls on this campus feel safer when walking alone late at night. I know that the fraternity at Yale seems to have some assholes in it, and it is probably a typical criticism of fraternities at large, but there are those out there that respect and are sympathetic towards instances like these.

  9. Liz Liebman says:

    One of my friend’s mentioned that a Yale frat chanted some pretty obscene through their campus, but I had no idea it was this derogatory and disgusting. And the fact that this frat did not get into any serious trouble is also extremely bothersome. What message is this sending to young adults everywhere? That it’s okay to say extremely degrading and obscene things as long as you make some sort of apology after the fact?Why would a young female want to go to a school where something like this happens that the administration does fairly little about?

    The DKE president said that this was a “lapse in judgment” and in “very poor taste.” I think that barely begins to describe it. He also said that “DKE does not condone sexual violence,” but I disagree because language is a form of violence. It can be an extremely powerful form of violence. What these men did is a form of violence. People need to think more about the words they use.

  10. Colleen Lukas says:

    When I heard about this incident I was immediately infuriated and disgusted. Rape should never be made light of, and it should absolutely never be encouraged by chants such as, “No means yes!” Absoultely ridiculous!!

    This whole situation is so deeply concerning to me I can hardly explain. The first thing that really concerned me was that these frat boys are Ivy league students, they are supposed to be the smartest of the smart. It is bewildering to me that individuals who are so intelligent can be so ignorant, clearly these guys are nothing but “educated idiots.” The second thing that really concerned me after I thought about it more, was that because these guys go to an Ivy league school they will most likely hold important roles in our society in the future. All I’m saying is that I don’t want an a-whole like this to become our future President.

  11. Gabrielle Perez says:

    I heard about this incident about a week after Women’s Collective had their Take Back the Night and I was truly appalled at the ignorance surrounding this event. I can’t believe men from an Ivy League University would do something like this and feel it was ok to do (especially around the women’s dorms).

    How is it that the institution hasn’t taken action against something like this? If you see the response to the post from Mary Miller in the video it says that Yale’s standards must not be that high if things like this are occurring on the campus and administration isn’t taking charge of it. Apparently this isn’t the first time something like this has happened at Yale; history just seemed to repeat itself with the same fraternity exercising their male privilege on the campus.

    Granted, I don’t know what’s occurred since the incident, but I am hoping something happened and the administration has taken charge of the incident; things like this do not need to continue occurring on campuses all over the states.

  12. Grace B says:

    Equating the chants concocted by the DKE brothers/pledges to freedom of speech equates rape to an act of individual liberty. What I found to be the most disturbing aspect of this whole ordeal was how it was handled. The fraternity president saying that it was done in poor taste, Mary Miller saying that freedom of speech makes for unpleasantries? A discussion forum about the issue? This crosses so many lines and yet the fraternity faced little physical consequence.
    Of course it is safe to assume that the majority of these upstanding Yale gentleman do not really perceive no to mean yes, and that most of them are harmless, maybe even decent guys who would never rape a woman. The larger issue here is that this kind of discourse, this blatant mockery of TBTN and all that it stands for is carried out with careful consideration in a learning community. This is not a misinformed, ignorant request on the part of the upperclassmen of DKE, it was a deliberate, malicious, and revolting display of some vain of sick machismo brotherhood.
    This whole scenario was absolutely heart-wrenching to me.

  13. Becky says:

    I think what is happening here is a vicious cycle. I do not think these men intend to do this sort of ranting and express explicit antics against women, i think what has happened is these young men are impressionable and follow the example of the older men on the campus who have been taught the same thing. Fraternities hold the notion that being a brother means you take part in what all the other brothers are doing. This reenforces instances like this. Many men don’t realize what is happening until they are actually in the moment, chanting and yelling these slurs. What is detrimental, however, is whether this men are really acting upon violence and rape towards women.
    I do not condone the actions that have occurred, like this particular yale fraternity, but I realize that all that must happen is education. Ignorance is a common and underlying reality in many instances of hatred and violence. These men clearly have no education or understanding of the implications of their actions or words. We (those who are bothered by this) need to provide education to those, even if at first unwilling. Because it is necessary to show stories and real sentiments about rape and violence to get the message across. All these men have women in their lives, it just takes one instance to show how rape and violence of the women they know can effect them.

  14. Sarah Drapela says:

    First of all I am shocked and absolutely disgusted that anyone could possibly think that behavior like this was in any way acceptable. There are stories all that time about women who have been raped and yet somehow the rapists are never punished and often there is some discussion over what constitutes consent. This has always bothered me because I have always thought that saying NO is clearly not giving consent. But when you hear stories like this one and see that people are challenging the idea that no means no it is no wonder that this remains a problem when it comes to getting justice for rape victims. How is anyone supposed to feel safe and know how to act if nothing we say is taken seriously? These men at Yale are sending a message that no matter what a man has the right to treat a woman in any way he like and that those actions are ok because obviously we as women would never really say no to any man. This message is so disturbing and false and it really worries me that men and women are being exposed to these kinds of comments. It seems like no matter what we as women are never safe and that is just inexcusable. These men at Yale have done something that goes far beyond “poor taste” and I sincerely hope that they are held accountable for their actions.

  15. Michael Kane says:

    This story is insane! I am surprised this didn’t receive more press. Anyway, what I find most hurtful about this situation is that it further promotes stereotypes long associated with fraternity life. It saddens me that these actions will shed a negative light on a brotherhood that has the potential to promote so much good.
    A quick look on our campus reveals fraternity life that promotes strong relationships, loyalty, community service and citizenship. All too often, these establishments are reduced to party houses a la “Animal House”. I feel as though the older generation assumes that brothers in these houses are there for the parties and neglect to see all the positive attributes of fraternities.
    The gentlemen of Yale, or whatever they are, did a despicable thing, something that should be punished to the highest degree. They made light of a situation that women and mike alike have spent years trying to increase awareness. Situations like these serve to show just how far we still need to go before people are as cognizant and aware of the scars rape and sexual abuse can cause. I hope this opens people’s eyes and shows that some things are off limits when it comes to “making light of situations”.

  16. Ben Ayres says:

    Wow, this is really shocking especially from a bunch of Yale students who are suppose to have the most class and brains in the entire country. As a young man it’s not all to uncommon to hear derogatory comments towards women from TV shows to music to conversing with other people. I always kind of cringe inside when i hear something like this, it doesn’t make any sense to me at all. I don’t know if these guys are serious or if they are just trying to be funny, but its sad to think that these Yale students think this is funny or if they are serious its sad to believe they would actually believe this. I don’t get what these guys are getitng out of it, to portray how ignorant and sick they are?

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