Save your quarters kids. Stay on your feet. That special time has rolled around here at the colleges. It is time once again to face the washers and dryers at HWS.
Personally, I would much rather save my quarters for those ever enticing bubblegum machines that act as a kind of slide where you get excited watching the blue ball roll down the winding lane and deposit safely into your hand to be devoured. Just to have it taste remotely stale and you begin to wonder how long is has been encased in the machine (probably a good half a year) but I digress, I have laundry to do anyway.
Cutting to the proverbial chase, the laundry here is pretty brutal. I will begin with a description on what are called the washers. The washers here, or at least the ones I have encountered, always seem to sprout a significant leak that eventually finds it’s way to the hallway so it ends up looking like you live next to Alex Mac (90’s Nickelodeon reference YEA!).
Not to mention, I still have no clue what the right combination is for hot and cold or cold and cold or hot and hot, but I guess that is my own fault.
Drying clothes at this school seems to be like attempting to out run the Mangler (really wanted to make a reference to Stephen King’s clothing machine theme horror story and I did, point to Gryffindor!)
it doesn’t work. We all know the dryers work effectively under minimal circumstances and that no matter how many quarters are put in, even increasing the drying time to 70 min will not help, you will be met with damp clothes when you open that door. There is no getting around it. NEVER, I repeat NEVER, think it is a smart idea to press that Perm Press button; your clothes will be as wet as Charizard after Blastoise hits him with hydrobeam (80 percent accuracy!). In the end, I usually let my clothes air and hope my clothes do not end up looking like a prune.
What seems to bother me the most about this situation is that it costs 1.25 per load to have a poor quality machine do something Amish people have been doing significantly better and quicker for ages. To this fact I propose something to the colleges administrations, perhaps find out statistically how much students, on average, pay for laundry and add to tuition or allow students to swipe their ID’s and charge it directly to a student account. These are simply thoughts and I would be very grateful if the colleges looked into this issue.
It does help however if you’re stuck in the laundry room with an unknown acquaintance at which time, it is fair game to say ”Hey man or lady, these things suck, they never dry my shit and the water makes me smell like a dog”. To which they will reply “ Yea I know, there always broken and really expensive. I just had to leap over a puddle to get back to my room safely. I’m glad we bonded over this common misfortune, you’re just like me!” Now HWS I can understand if by allowing the deprecating quality of overpriced clothing appliances to create student friendship I applaud you for such innovative thinking, but if not all were asking is for the shit to work. If anyone wishes to vent their frustration on the laundry situation here at the colleges do not hesitate to seek me out. I will be the kid that looks like he just stepped out of a local water park where the kids all keep their clothes on.